Tired
by LittleMoonCake
Summary: AU Set right around the female titan attack. How I would've liked to see things happen between Levi and Petra if she had survived the attack. The two of them try to navigate their feelings as they recover from the tremendous loss of the 57th Expedition. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**WOW. Long time no see! It's good to be back. ****So, I watched the entirety of AoT in two days. I was legitimately ****depressed when I finished. Then I looked up some fanfiction and fell in love with LevixPetra. Unfortunate, isn't it?**  
**So, I was reading away, crying my eyes out, when I realized that there were no AUs. I decided to fix that.  
This is a rewriting of the scene where Petra dies, except she doesn't. This is what I would've liked to have seen from that point on. Unfortunately, it can never be. My OTP was destroyed as soon as it began. *cries*****  
So yeah. Here you go. My fellow LevixPetra shippers, enjoy.  
**

**UPDATE: I have re-written to give the overall story a more serious tone. I also tried to remove all of the typos but if there's more let me know. This story will be continued in chapters, which I will try to average at around 2,000 word range. I promise the title will make sense with time.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: _I do NOT own _**_Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin .** If I did, Petra would be alive and I wouldn't be as upset as I am.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

"_**Petra!**_"

Petra heard Auruo cry out to he just before the female titan's foot came down. It slammed her cable into the ground, taking her with it. Her body hit the dirt and she felt her arm snap and fold underneath her. Rocks and roots tore through her skin as she skidded across the forest floor. She came to a rough stop and whimpered, but she forced herself to remain still. The female titan, assuming that Petra was dead, turned and attacked her only remaining teammate, Auruo, who died quickly. She then crouched and surveyed the damage she had done. Petra held her limbs perfectly still. Her muscles screamed for her to relax, but she held her place. She knew that if she even moved a fraction of an inch, the titan would notice and correct it's mistake. Blood seeped through her wounds and stained the dirt. A puddle was quickly growing beneath her, soaking into what was left of her clothing.

Somewhere ahead, she heard a scream of rage that sent chills down her spine. "I'm going to... I'm going to **kill her!**" The air fizzled with electricity, signaling the appearance of a green bolt of lightning. Bright light flashed through the trees. Another titan, presumably Eren, ran past her, roaring with anger. His larger body slammed into the female's smaller one, and they began brawling. The footsteps of the fighting giants faded a bit, and only then did Petra allow herself to relax. She assessed the damage.

Her cloak was gone, probably caught on a root somewhere behind her. Her arm was definitely broken. It was bent awkwardly in between her wrist and elbow, and bone poked through her skin. It hung limp by her side. A deep gash was carved into her calf, bleeding profusely. Dirt coated the inside of the wound. Tears forced their way up, and Petra let them fall. Her whole body was covered in gashes and bruises. Her clothes were completely ruined, since they were ripped up and stained with blood, both hers, her comrades, and the titan's. Blood dripped into her eye from a cut on her hairline, making it hard for her to see. Her entire body shrieked in agony. Petra sobbed quietly and sat up, stretching her leg out in front of her. Yep, definitely a broken rib. She crawled to the nearest tree and leaned against it. The small movement made her woozy. She looked towards the battling titans who, by that time, had moved a considerable distance away. Eren was much more aggressive and strong, but the female was quicker, calculating each move before executing it. The were both dodging each others blows, and they each landed as many as the other. When Eren got the female on the ground, she quickly reversed the roles, and vice versa. However, the female started to best Eren. She landed blow after blow, knocking him off balance.

Petra's vision blurred. She was losing too much blood. With her good arm, she ripped a bit of her already destroyed shirt off and pushed the cloth into the gash on her leg. Pain exploded from the wound. She couldn't help but cry out. She kept pushing until she couldn't anymore, desperately hoping to stop the bleeding. More tears rushed to her eyes and blackness crawled to the edges of her vision.

Distantly, she heard someone using a 3DMD. Petra tilted her head towards the sound.

A dark shape was moving towards her. It slowed to look at the corpses of each of her fallen comrades in turn before slowing coming towards her. The figure came into focus.

It was...

Levi.

He maneuvered his way over to her. His face was emotionless, as always, but his eyes held something she couldn't quite put her finger on. He landed and trotted over to her. He scanned her body, taking in all of her wounds. Petra was breathing heavily, still pushing the cloth into her marred leg, even though it was completely soaked through. Tears were streaming down her face as she fought the urge to completely break down. She couldn't do that. No, not in front of her commander. She had to be strong.

Levi reached down and pulled Petra's hand away from her leg. He examined the gash and, without looking at her face, said, "You could've died." Petra smiled a bit. "Occupational hazard, Heichou." Levi didn't respond. He tossed the bloodied cloth aside and looked around for something else to stop the bleeding. He almost reached to tear off more of Petra's shirt, but he thought better of it. Petra noticed this. "Here, allow me." She croaked. Once again using her right arm, she ripped a chunk off her shirt at the hem and handed it to her commander. Her midriff was exposed, but Petra realized that now was not a good time to get modest. Levi seemed to notice the odd discolored lump over her broken rib, but said nothing of it. He tenderly slipped off her boot and pressed the cloth into her calf, pushing hard. Petra cried out in pain, but Levi didn't relent. She understood; the bleeding had to be stopped or she would die from blood loss. "The others are already retreating. You're lucky I came back for Eren. Here, hold this." He never once looked at her face. Petra leaned down and gripped the piece of shirt. Levi stood. He turned towards the brawling titans. The female titan planted her foot. Eren froze just as the female took her shot. The entire top half of Eren's head flew with the female's fist. The now headless titan fell. The female, recognizing her victory, placed her teeth to his neck, ripping him open. Just then, Mikasa flew by, landing on a branch above. There, just below the skin, sat Eren's human form. The female picked him up and swallowed him. "**Eren!**" Mikasa screamed, launching back into the air. Levi growled with frustration. "Wait here." He mumbled through gritted teeth, as if Petra could go anywhere.

Levi launched back into action. He drew his swords and flew. To Petra, his entire body exuded power. That man was the number one Titan killer on the planet, and he was hell-bent on revenge. Mikasa was far ahead of Levi. "**Give Eren back!**" She screamed at the titan. She tore her swords across it's skin, but the female did not falter. She flew back again and again, cutting all over the giants body. Finally, she managed to slice it's calf, and the monster fell. It was smart, however. It kept its hand clasped over the back of its neck, hardening its skin to protect against Mikasa's blades.

Mikasa sat against a tree and waited. She said something that Levi couldn't hear. He was too far away, but catching up quickly. The female, who had regained her strength, struck at Mikasa, who leaped out of the way. They resumed their chase. However, before they could get far, Levi had caught up. He pulled Mikasa back.

"Fall back for now." He let go of Mikasa, who kept pace with the commander. "Keep this distance. Whoever's inside may be a soldier, but doesn't have much speed. It looked like she took him with one bite to the nape. Did Eren die?" He asked. A look of pure rage entered Mikasa's face when she answered, "He's alive. The target appear to possess intelligence Her objective is to take Eren away. If she wanted to kill Eren, she would've crushed him. The target put Eren in her mouth so she could fight and flee at the same time."

"Maybe her aim was to eat Eren." Levi suggested. "If that's the case, Eren is in her stomach. The normal conclusion would be that he's dead."

"He's alive." Mikasa repeated bitterly.

Levi looked at her. "I hope you're right."

Mikasa looked back angrily. "First off, if you had protected Eren, this wouldn't have happened!"

Levi turned around, never stopping. "I remember now... you were Eren's friend. We need to limit ourselves to one goal. first, we'll have to forget about killing the female." Mikasa protested. Levi stopped her. "As long as she can toughen her skin, we can't do it. Obey my call on this. We'll have to put all our hopes on Eren being alive. We'll rescue him before she makes it out of the forest." He instructed. "I'll slice her up." He said, halfway to himself. "You distract her." He told Mikasa.

Mikasa launched in front of the female titan. With the giant's attention on her, Levi came up behind. His eyes flashed red. He drew his swords. The female suddenly turned to strike, but Levi was ready. He spun quickly, digging his swords up her arm, channeling his rage into the attack. Blood shot up from his path. He pushed forward, ramming her face and shoving his blades into her head. He left them there, detaching the handles. He jumped back, equipping himself once again before spinning for a second time, this time slicing down her entire body. Hot blood covered Levi's face. He then focused his attention on each arm, cutting the muscles deeply so that they would cease to work. He came at her repeatedly, each time cutting a little deeper, hitting a little harder. All of his anger poured out through his swords, bent on maiming the titan. The female's hands fell away, too badly injured to guard herself anymore. Mikasa noticed this and went for the nape. Levi called out for her to stop and landed on the females hand. His ankle rolled and snapped underneath his weight. Levi gritted his teeth and leaped towards the female's head, slicing her mouth open. Her jaw fell slack, and there sat Eren. Mikasa jumped forward and collected her friend, quickly leaping back and retreating. Levi followed, making a beeline for his lone surviving comrade.

There sat Petra, who had fallen over due to exhaustion. The cloth sat in her hand, once again totally soaked through. Her arm was an angry shade of red where the bone stuck out of her skin. Carrying her would be extremely painful, but necessary. Levi landed on the forest floor, quickly detaching Petra's 3DMD and scooping up the young girl. She was just barely smaller than Levi. She was almost unconscious, and she made no sound when Levi picked her up. His ankle was roaring with pain, but Levi held tight to Petra before leaping away once again. He had to use one hand to operate his 3DMD, so he could only support her with one hand, which clung painfully tight to Petra's side. Once she was secure at his side, he took off, flying at full speed back to the convoy.

* * *

Petra woke up in a wagon. She moved her limbs a centimeter just to see where everything was and regretted it immediately. Everything hurt. She opened her eyes and looked up.

The sky was bright from the evening sun. Small clouds dotted the sky. Petra noticed that she was covered in someone's green cloak, though she didn't know whose. The wagon hit something and lurched. Petra groaned. A figure turned its attention to her; Levi. He was seated beside her, with his leg stretched out. His boot was gone from his left leg, and his ankle was wrapped. He must've broken it, Petra decided. She noticed He wasn't wearing his cloak. He didn't smile when he noticed her looking at him. "You're awake." He said, looking bored. "Yeah, I am." She said. "Where are the others?"

Levi grimaced. "You don't remember?" Petra tried to think back, but she only remembered screaming and a lot of blood. Everything else was foggy. Her heart dropped; this had to be bad. Levi confirmed her fears. "They were killed by the female titan. We managed to get Eren back, but..." his voice trailed off. She and Levi were the only ones left. She let a few tears fall before stifling the rest. Crying wouldn't bring them back. "What about Eren? Is he okay?" She asked. "Mikasa carried him back and tended his wounds. They're riding in a wagon ahead of us. The female titan escaped." He stated roughly. He seemed far away, so Petra decided not to pester him further.

Breathing was incredibly difficult. Petra's midsection was wrapped in medical cloth. Ah yes, the broken rib. Her jacket, remaining boot, had belts had been removed at some point, leaving her in a shredded shirt and leggings. The cloak covered her torso, but her legs were exposed. Her right leg was tightly wrapped with gauze. She tried to move her left arm, but it was secured with a splint. Her skin was covered with cuts, and the places she wasn't cut were discolored with bruises. Her hair was matted down with sweat and dried blood. She decided that a bath would be in order when they returned. She saw her horse trailing behind the wagon, and Levi's running beside. She remembered his ankle.

She looked back at Levi. He had taken off his 3DMD and laid it out beside him. His hairline was wet with sweat, but the rest of his hair was waving in the wind. He had a few scratches, but his ankle seemed to be the worst of his injuries. His eyes were dull and tired with dark circles underneath them. They remained fixed on the road ahead. They stayed like this for half an hour. Petra was the first to speak.

"You saved my life." Petra stated.

"I suppose so." He replied, not looking at her.

"Why not just move on? You could've saved Eren, or gone ahead and protected the others."

Levi was silent for a moment. His eyes met hers, and something shifted behind them. He contemplated his answer before saying anything.

"I was able to save both you and Eren. There was no reason to leave you after going back for him. As for the others... you're a bit more important than them."

Petra didn't bother him after that.

* * *

When they got back, crowds of people crammed into the narrow streets, expecting a triumphant return. They didn't get what they wanted. She heard the usual muttering, mostly marketeers accusing them of being a waste of taxes. Parents wailed in mourning, discovering their children to be dead. More than usual this time.

Levi exited the cart before returning, instead choosing to ride his horse into the walled-in city. He kept close, though. He rode right next to the wagon, keeping in perfect pace with it. Petra shut her eyes, trying to block out the confusing mix of jeers and cries.

Usually, nobody approached the convoy. The populace kept their distance, as if the soldiers would give them some sort of disease. This time, however, a man walked up to Levi. Petra couldn't see him, nor did she have the strength to get up to look. But, when he started speaking, Petra knew exactly who it was.

"Captain Levi! My daughter is in your squad..."

Petra's stomach dropped. _Father, please don't..._

"I'm Petra's father. Before she sees me, I wanted to talk to you" Levi looked at the man, waiting for him to go on. "She sent me this letter..."

_He won't._

"She mentioned that you respected her abilities enough to let her join your squad. She was going to devote herself to you."

_He_ **_is._** Petra groaned inwardly and blushed. He father obviously hadn't seen her in the wagon.

"I guess she's too starry eyed to consider how her Father feels!" He chuckled. "Well, as her Father, I think it's too early for her to marry. She's still so young, with so much to experience..."

Petra blocked her father out. He was telling Levi _everything_! Her face grew hot. Levi glanced at her with an amused glint in his eyes, though his face remained as plain as ever. She glared back. It only lasted half a second, so Petra's father didn't notice. He prattled on about marriage and how taken his daughter was with Levi, and how he wasn't too sure but he still respected the Captain. Petra pulled the hood of the cloak that served as her blanket over her face.

"... I just wanted you to know that before anything happens. Now then, have you seen my daughter?" Petra's father asked gleefully. Levi replied in monotone, "She was quite badly injured. She's riding in the wagon. I'm going to ask that you don't disturb her. I'm sure that she will visit you once she's up to it."

He father sounded a bit taken aback. "Oh my! Well, I guess that makes sense. Please, Captain Levi, tell her that I came looking for her. I want to see her as soon as possible. I'm relieved to hear that she survived, even if she did get hurt." Levi dismissed him.

Once her father had left, the shouting began. Petra and Levi were in the back of the convoy, which was several yards away from Commander Erwin (who was the victim of the verbal abuse), but they could still hear the angry shouts of the citizens. The embarrassment from the encounter with her father faded as the reality of the situation crushed down on her. They lost an entire flank of men. She might've been one of them if it wasn't for Levi. They had been careless, taking so many new recruits with them on such a high-risk operation. The losses had been too great; they'd never recover.

Just then the wagon hit a bump and the pain came back to her full force. She felt every single cut and bruise and break all at once, and she nearly passed out from the pain.

* * *

**There it is. This chapter is mostly the same, but future chapters will feature more changes. I hope you'll enjoy them.**

**Please leave a review! I love your feedback. :)**

**~LMC**


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG CHAPTERS WHAAAAAAT.**

**I decided that a 8,500+ word one-shot was a bit ridiculous. This story will be continued as chapters. It'll will be constantly changing, so bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: See chapter 1.**

**Enjoy. :)**

* * *

The door cracked, and Levi's head appeared. They had been at home for two weeks, and Petra still felt lousy. Her rib and arm were going to take a bit longer to heal, but her leg was already scabbing over. A doctor had tended to her as soon as they had arrived at the old castle. He had stitched her leg, replaced the makeshift splints with real ones, applied a poultice to her scratches, and bandaged her within an inch of her life. The cuts had mostly healed, but Petra knew they were going to scar badly.

On top of that, she hadn't had a full night's sleep since they got back. Either she was woken by violent visions or the pain of her injuries. Levi had been put on a crutch and a splint put on his ankle. He limped into the room. He carried a bowl of soup in his free hand.

He limped over and set the bowl on the bedside table before sitting down. He spent so much time in the room that he had a chair there. Every day at noon, without fail, her Captain had brought her lunch. He handed it to her. Propping the crutch on the wall, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, content with just sitting there. Petra sat up as much as she could and began sipping her soup. Wonton, she noted, slurping some broth. It was still hot, and it burned a bit as it went down her throat. She focused her attention on her food, trying to ignore the object of her affections sitting by her bed. It was hard not to take a look. His eyes were closed, so why not? She looked over at Levi.

His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. His short black hair was shiny and clean and hung over his forehead. He wore the uniform of the recon corps, minus his 3DMD, belts, and his little scarf. This gave Petra a rare view of his neck. It was smooth and thin. Very nice.

"It's rude to stare, Petra."

Petra jumped and directed her attention back onto her soup, drinking more broth. Levi opened his eyes and looked at her curiously for a moment. She was blushing heavily, desperately trying to focus on her meal. He knew she liked him. How could he not, after his little chat with her Father?

Petra sucked down her soup in under five minutes. She set the bowl down and sat in silence, cringing inwardly at the awkwardness of the situation. Levi was looking at her. She mustered up the courage to speak. She asked the question that had been on her mind ever since he had started the little lunchtime ritual.

"Why do you do this, Heichou?"

Levi made eye contact. "Do what?"

"Sit with me. Bring me food. Take care of me."

Levi pondered for a second. "You're the only teammate I have left, Petra."

She didn't believe him. "Are you sure that's why?" Now she couldn't believe _herself_. Did she really just say that? To her _Captain_?

Levi stood, picking up his crutch. He limped over to her. He leaned down and put his hand behind her neck. And he kissed her on the forehead.

"No."

He left.

* * *

Petra stifled a little hiccup. The walls of headquarters were thin; If Hanji or any of the others heard her, she'd never hear the end of it.

Tears ran down her face and dripped from her chin onto the quilt that covered her lower half. A wet spot darkened the fabric. Petra let the tears fall, but the she constantly had to wipe her nose. Her sleeve itched at painfully and the irritated flesh, but her nose wouldn't stop running. Sobs wrenched themselves from her throat. Something churned in her chest, ripping more cries from her. She tried to force them down, but her friend's faces came to mind and she couldn't keep silent.

She saw them everyday, but she couldn't feel more alone. They appeared in nightmares whenever she closed her eyes. She heard their voices when it was quiet. Sitting alone, eating breakfast, she heard them arguing over who got the last pastry, like they used to. Levi would sit, sipping his drink, immune to their insanity. She could almost smell the coffee she used to brew every morning, sitting alone with Levi until the others came and pitched the room into chaos. She depended on that chaos. She thrived on that chaos.

Now, she sat alone in her room. Every morning, oatmeal and coffee appeared on her bedside table. The coffee was not as good as hers. She would sit alone all day, perhaps reading a book or writing (Her dominant hand had survived the accident) until Levi, precisely at noon, brought her lunch. He would sit with her, not speaking much, until she finished her meal. Then he would leave. At dinner, a random member to the corps would bring her her food. They never lingered for long. She supposed that she scared them. She was, after all, Petra Ral: last surviving member of Captain Levi's Squad for Special Operations. She never spoke or smiled to the younger soldiers. She was too broken and empty for that, they said. In reality, she just didn't feel like talking.

Although, when she thought about it, she realized they might be a little right.

Then she would go to sleep. However, she never stayed asleep for long.

She always had nightmares.

As soon as her eyes closed, images of Auruo, Gunther, and Erd flashed before her. She saw them, eyes red with fury, soaring towards the female titan. They were experts at their craft; they knew what to do without having to think about it. Their swords moved with effortless precision, but the giant struck them down with ease. Their blood coated her skin, and she felt hot and sticky. The stench assaulted her senses, making her vomit. All she could see was the terror on their faces as their lives were ripped from them, and the taste of bile forced her to retch again. Hot tears blurred her vision, but she could still see all of their faces. In their last moments, they looked like Petra had never seen them as they were while living: scared.

Her eyes stung from crying so much, but she couldn't stop. Actually, she didn't mind much. It felt good to hurt. It reminded her that she was alive. She knew she should've felt guilty for being alive when her best friends were dead, but she was grateful that she had been spared. What good would dying have done? Levi would've been alone had she died. She couldn't bear the thought.

She let her head relax onto the pillow. Her cries were softer now, her breathing easier. Petra didn't close her eyes, even though she was tired. She didn't want to see them again. Instead, she looked out the window.

It was almost completely dark outside. The moon was high, but the titan enclosure's torches shone throughout the compound. Petra's second-floor room had a good view of the area. She could almost hear the guards talking, if she strained her ears. Even though the titans Sonny and Bean were long dead, Erwin had ordered the skeletons to be closely guarded. Nobody knew why, but nobody questioned him.

Her eyes drooped. She had been woken up by visions several times that night. She hadn't slept well in weeks, despite her best efforts. She didn't tell anyone, but she was sure they had noticed her constantly drooping eyelids and dark bags under her eyes. Nobody ever said anything, but the doctor always asked how she had been sleeping. Petra lied.

She hated being alone in her suffering. She felt like she was isolated. She truly loathed that feeling, but she couldn't tell anyone. Something kept her from it. Maybe they wouldn't understand. They'd write her off as a basket case, and diagnose her with PTSD or something. But that wasn't what was wrong. How could you watch all of your friends die and not feel that way she felt? No, she couldn't have anybody thinking she was insane. Because she wasn't insane.

She had to cry in secret, when nobody could see. She had to suffer in silence, so nobody could hear her pain.

* * *

The gash on her leg was healing very well and her cuts and bruises were all but gone. The doctor had told her that within two more weeks, her bones would be healed and she could get back into shape. She had been out of commission for a month, and her body was suffering the effects of being practically bedridden. Levi had healed significantly faster, now walking on his own with only a slight limp. He still sat in her room every day while she ate lunch, but they didn't talk as much. Levi just did as he always did; he sat in his chair and dozed.

Eren had recovered quick enough. Petra hadn't seen him since that day, but she had heard through the grapevine that his regenerative powers had healed him rapidly and the rest of the corps had been summoned to the capitol. Petra was secretly glad she didn't have to go.

Levi was sitting with her once again. Today he had brought her a sandwich. Turkey with some sort of spread. No cheese.

She scarfed the sandwich down and set the plate on her bedside table. Then, as was their routine for the last few days, Levi rose and helped her up. This time, she was the one with the crutch. She placed it under her good arm and limped out the room. Levi followed. Together, they limped down the hall. The stairs were a bit of a challenge, but they eventually made it down. The then headed South, toward the hiking path. Their doctor had told them that they needed to go outside and get some sunlight. Exercise would help them recover quicker. But not too much, he had warned. Levi was much less optimistic about the prescription than Petra, but did as he was told regardless.

Levi kept his distance from his comrade when they walked. When she stumbled, she always corrected herself. Ne need for him to get clingy. After all, it wasn't like she was his...

Anyway, it wasn't like she needed his help. So he didn't offer.

They took their normal path through the woods. It wound in between the trees and made a loop around the castle, always depositing them back where they started. Petra walked ahead of Levi. The sun was high by now. It was summer, and the heat had been extreme lately. However, no other day compared to today. They began to sweat as soon as they reached the path. Five minutes in, the back of Petra's shirt was soaked through. Halfway through the walk, she began to pant, regretting not drinking more water. Her steps became clumsy as the walk wore on. Levi noticed, but did not interfere.

Petra was having trouble picking up her crutch. The heat was messing with her head, making her woozy. Her lack of sleep made it much worse. Suddenly her crutch struck a rock, which sent her tumbling to the ground. She landed on the elbow of her good arm, but the fall jarred her, sending pain through her body. She groaned. Now Levi was paying attention. He trotted over to her and put his hands under her arms and hauled her up. She rose, but lost her balance as soon as she was upright, rocking back into Levi's arms. She was pressed against him, her back to his chest. His arms were around her waist, holding firm there. God, she could feel his breath against the nape of her neck. She blushed and scrambled to get upright again. Levi leaned down to get her crutch. His expression never changed.

"Perhaps we should go back." He suggested.

"Yes, I think so." Petra said, clearly flustered.

Levi walked closer this time.

* * *

She was crying again.

Levi was outside her door with lunch. Soup. The ceramic bowl was burning his hand, but he didn't enter. Her sobs rang through the wooden door and echoed through the stone hallway. He had heard her cry at night, but never during the day. He stood outside, debating whether or not to go in. A younger soldier walked by, giving Levi a confused look. Levi stared daggers at the girl, and she scuttled past.

Levi took a deep breath and opened the door. Petra's face was in her good hand and her shoulders were hunched. As soon as the door swung open, her head shot up.

Her eyes were as wide and bloodshot, with dark circles contrasting her usually bright gold irises. Her mouth hung open, in a half-sob. Her cheeks were flushed and wet with tears. Her entire face was puffy. She looked horrified at Levi's appearance. He shut the door and set the soup on the table, pulling his chair close. Petra hiccuped.

He sat down and examined the woman in the bed.

Petra's bottom lip quivered. She was trying to calm down. Her breathing was labored, but Petra was trying to force it to be slow. The result was long shaky breaths interrupted by short gasps. Tears continued to fall, but much less than before. They were drying on her cheeks. Her hand sat limp in her lap, and she was looking down.

She was obviously tired. Bags hung below her eyes and they were dull and sad. This upset Levi; her eyes were his favorite of her features. They were always bright in the morning, when she would always make him coffee. He was _not _a morning person, but he was always happy to get up to get the first cup of Petra's coffee. Then the others would come in. He didn't want to think about that.

He didn't say anything for awhile. She was desperately trying to calm herself. Levi sighed. She looked up.

"You've had visions. Am I wrong?"

She looked a bit afraid. Levi pressed on.

"I'm not going to report you, if that's what you're thinking."

A bit less scared now.

"I've seen soldiers die before, Petra. I've learned to live with the reality of my job. However, the first time one of my comrades died, I was much less composed. I had visions of their deaths, constantly, for months. It was... bad." Levi said, not making eye contact. Petra sniffled.

"I've become accustomed to being unattached. I thought you had done the same, but I was wrong. I take it this is the first time you've had close comrades die?"

Petra nodded slowly. "Yes, Heichou." Her voice was hoarse. Levi grimaced at the sound of his surname. "Please, just Levi. I believe we are close enough to be on a first-name basis." Petra sniffled and hiccuped some more. Levi went on.

"I realize that it's hard to let go, but that's the world we live in. We must toughen up or die." He said flatly.

Petra wiped her eyes and pulled one knee up to her chest. "But Levi, I have to care." She seemed on the verge of crying again. Levi was confused.

"I joined the military because I care. I kill titans because I care. I joined your squad because I care. I care about my comrades, and the people in the cities. I care enough to put my life in their hands, and theirs in mine. If I don't care... who am I, Levi?" She looked at him. tears welled up at the edges of her eyes, which were scrunched up. She swallowed.

"Caring too much will destroy you, Petra."

Petra let out a shaky sigh. "Caring too little will do the same, Levi." Her eyes met his, and something stirred in his chest.

He didn't have an answer. "Eat your soup." He told her. She complied. They didn't talk for the rest of the meal.

* * *

Petra pulled down the baggy pants that she had adopted as her normal wardrobe for the last month and a half. Levi, who was sitting on the other side of the room, turned away.

She was wearing loose shorts and a cropped tank top now. The doctor that had been looking after her since the expedition motioned to the bed, asking her to sit. She did.

Petra stretched out her leg and the older woman took it. She smiled. "You are doing very well, Petra. I see no sign of infection here. The scab looks good, yes..." The doctor drawled, examining her calf. She turned the limb over in her hands, poking and prodding. Petra let the woman do her work.

Levi leaned back in his chair, which squeaked in response. He didn't like doctors. He never had. However, he had just had his ankle checked. Petra's almost nude body was, to say the least, a bit distracting.

Satisfied with her calf, the doctor moved on to Petra's midsection. She gently probed the lump over Petra's broken rib. Petra leaned back on her elbow, wincing at the touch. The doctor didn't look very impressed. "Well, this will take a bit longer to heal. We can't do much for it besides let it heal on its own, so just stay in bed a bit longer. You can continue to take walks, but no falls, yes?" The woman's wrinkled face turned up in a smile. Petra didn't smile back, instead choosing to nod, sitting back up so the doctor could look at her arm.

She gingerly removed the cast from the sling, turning it over and examining it. She asked several questions about Petra's pains and how active she had been. Petra answered each question in a deadpan tone.

Then she asked _the question._

"How have you been sleeping? I can't help but notice that you look a bit down? You know that rest is the best medicine." She said kindly. Petra, as always, lied. "I'm sleeping well. I'm woken by pain sometimes, but I've gotten plenty of rest." The doctor clearly didn't believe her, but she didn't push. She moved on to routine things like checking her pulse, breathing, and minor cuts and bruises. Everything checked out.

"Well, Petra, I'd say you're doing well. Just remember not to strain yourself, and get _plenty of rest_." Gathering her things, she bid the two soldiers goodbye and left them alone.

"Why did you lie?" Levi asked, crossing his legs.

"Because it's not a big deal." Petra replied, pulling on her pants over her shorts. They were loose and soft and hung low from her hips. She couldn't get a shirt on by herself due to her injured arm (And she was NOT asking for Levi's help), so she just sat down on her bed, pulling a blanket over her shoulders. It was hot int the room, but she felt cold under Levi's gaze.

"If you say so." He seemed uncomfortable, but he didn't leave.

"The visions are going away." This seemed to surprise Levi. "Really?" He asked.

"I only get them once or twice a night now." She said, not looking him in the eye. He huffed a bit. "That's good. Mine didn't go away for almost 3 months." He told her. She was happy that he was willing to share something like that with her.

"I had to deal with it. All alone." He said.

"I've never felt more alone in my life." Petra said, looking down.

"But you're not." Levi stated.

"No, I suppose, I'm not." Petra grinned a little.

* * *

**There it is! Please tell me what you think of the changes? I live off your feedback. can't tell you how happy it makes me to see a new review. I'm really not sure how this will work out; It all depends on how you, my readers, feel about this.**

**Please leave a review! See you in the next chapter.**

**~LMC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three! I've been working on this for a little over a week, and I'm pleased. Not much to say here... yeah.  
**

**Disclaimer: See chapter one.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Someone knocked on the door.

"Enter." Levi instructed. Petra looked up from her soup.

A boy entered. He looked about twenty, and he sported a messenger uniform. His hair was dark and cropped close to his scalp. His eyes were bright blue and young. They were wide and a bit nervous looking. Petra decided she liked the boy. He stuttered a bit when he said, "C-Captain Levi? I was told I could find you here."

Levi looked less than entertained. "You were told correctly. What is it?" The boy handed Levi a folded-up piece of parchment. Levi waved him off, and the boy left. Levi opened the paper and read silently for a moment. His expression became grim. _Well, __**more**_ _grim_. Petra thought.

Levi didn't talk for a moment, he just read. Petra was becoming anxious to hear the message, but she didn't ask. She slurped her soup. It was thick with chunks of turkey. She couldn't quite put her finger on what kind it was, but she liked it. Levi seemed to bring her soup more than anything else, and she had become a connoisseur of sorts. Levi seemed a bit irked at her loud eating.

"It's from Erwin."

That got her attention.

"We need to pick new members for the squad, when we're up to it. He says he needs us back us soon as possible."

Petra's ears grew got and her pace quickened.

"We have to replace them?" She said weakly.

"It had to happen at some point."

Petra sniffled.

"I suppose you're right."

"We have to let them die." He said. His voice was soft.

"Any ideas?" He asked.

"Well, Ramsey is quite good." She suggested.

"Ackerman is an obvious choice." Levi stated.

They both knew that nobody would really compare to the comrades they had lost. Each suggestion was a weak attempt at covering up that fact. Petra ate more soup. She supposed that maybe, somehow, she could stay where she was forever. In bed, eating with Levi, not having to face the reality that her closest friends were gone.

But, time moved on. Whether you wished it to slow down for you so you could take your time, or if you wished it so speed up so you could get where you wanted to be. It moved at a constant pace. Forever, eternally, at the same pace. The sun always rose and set. Always. And you had to keep moving, lest you get left behind.

* * *

Levi was wandering. It was late, and he was tired, but he couldn't manage to sleep. He limped through the halls, trying to find something to occupy himself with. The occasional soldier walked by, but he ignored them. He roamed, nibbling a slice of sourdough bread that he snatched from the kitchen. Levi was fond of sourdough bread.

He stuck his finger in his mouth, picking a stubborn piece of bread that had lodged itself in his molar. He dug it out, flinging it on the floor in disgust. He found himself outside Petra's room. He opened the door, not bothering to knock.

Petra was out of bed, sitting in his chair. She was facing the window. A chilly breeze blew in, gently moving Petra's hair. It was longer now, as she hadn't cut it in a few moths. Levi liked it long.

He bit a chunk out of the bread, leaning against the door frame and looking at her. She was wearing a pale lavender nightgown. The moon was full, casting pale light on her. He could see her silhouette through the thin material. She didn't look at him.

"You should be sleeping." He said, his mouth still full.

"I could say the same for you." She responded. He came around her and sat on her bed. From this angle he could see that her eyes were closed.

He studied her for awhile. "I'm tired, Levi." She stated.

This confused him. "I should imagine so. "

"No, Levi. I don't think you get it. I'm _tired._" Understanding dawned on Levi.

She opened her eyes. "I don't want to go to sleep. Sleeping means waking up to another day of being tired. Always, _always_ tired." She sighed. "I don't want to be tired anymore." She looked at him. He put a bit of crust in his mouth. "Are you tired?" She asked. Her voice was quiet. Her eyes were drooping, and she was clearly fighting sleep.

"Yes, I am." He matched her volume.

"So tired..." She said halfway to herself.

Levi finished off his bread. "We can't go on like this."

Petra stood up and joined him on the bed. "I still get the visions." She informed him. Levi lifted his hand, hesitated, then placed it on her shoulder. She leaned into the touch. She scooted toward him, laying her head on his shoulder. He shifted closer to her until their sides were touching. Now his arm was across her shoulders, and her head nestled into the crook of his neck.

Levi wasn't sure what to do. He had originally selected Petra for his team because she was calm, cool, and collected. Especially under pressure. She was unfailingly strong; she never lost herself. Since the expedition, all of that had been wiped away. Now she was weak. Levi knew that she would never be the same after this.

He could remember a time when he was in her state. As a child, Levi lost both his mother and father to thugs who ambushed them while they were at the market. He spent years in the local orphanage. All he could remember was being the smallest, being the reject, and being _tired._ This wasn't the kind of tired you became from lack of sleep; it was the kind of tired you became from lack of life. There came a point that you became tired of living. Tired of having to deal with everyday struggle. Pain was an exhausting thing. Levi knew this personally.

All this was before he became a street criminal, and before Erwin found him and set him straight. Coming from a more normal background, Petra had never had to deal with such pain or heartbreak before. Now, the woman resting against him was in a dark place. Levi rubbed circles on her back. The material of her nightgown was soft against the rough skin on his hand. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He could feel her breath catch a bit, but she didn't respond in any other way. She relaxed under his arm, pressing into him further. Her breathing got slower and deeper, signaling that she had fallen asleep. Levi evaluated his options.

He could lay her down and leave. No, her legs would be hanging off the bed. That would hurt her back and rib.

He could pick her up and place her in properly bed, cover her, and leave. No, she would probably wake up. He didn't want to disturb her, as she had been having enough trouble sleeping as it was.

He could...

Levi blushed a bit.

He decided that the last choice was probably the best, even if it made him a tad uncomfortable.

Levi, never breaking contact with Petra, carefully pulled her closer to him and onto the bed. He rotated their bodies just so they were both fully on the bed. Levi was trapped behind her, but Petra seemed to be asleep still. He was spooning her. That fact made him exceptionally nervous. After a minute, he decided to deal with the issue after he had slept awhile. This position, despite being somewhat nerve-wracking, was extremely comfortable.

* * *

The next morning, Levi woke. He was extremely comfortable and warm. He sat halfway between sleep and consciousness for awhile. Whatever his head rested on smelled like flowers. It was a pleasant smell, he decided. The sun streamed in through the window that sat on the wall by his head. The light illuminated specs of dust that floated around aimlessly. Levi watched them drift, making a mental note to dust later. From what he could tell, it was mid-morning. He was grateful that the window wasn't across from him-

_Wait._

_My window is across from my bed._

Now fully awake, Levi realized that this was not, in fact, his room. His face was buried in a mass of auburn hair. His left hand was trapped under the weight of a woman, and his right was thrown over her side and pressed against the warm expanse her stomach. His right leg was wedged in-between the woman's. They were pressed together, with her back to his front. He could feel every inch of the woman against him.

His next thought made him blush. The woman was Petra.

Ah, now he remembered. Levi looked around as much as he could, trapped behind Petra. His male pride swelled a bit, noticing that she was smaller than him. She hadn't moved much, besides to get closer it seemed. That struck Levi as odd. _She didn't have any nightmares? _

The door handle clicked, signaling someone's entrance. Levi grimaced. He swore internally and looked to see who it was.

_Hanji._

Hanji was dressed, already in full uniform. In one hand she held a bowl of oatmeal, in the other a cup of coffee. When she saw Levi, a grin broke out on her face an she clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling. Levi lifted a choice finger, and Hanji got the message. She silenced herself long enough to put Petra's breakfast on her desk, then she left. Levi let his head fall back on the pillow, groaning and burying his head Petra's hair.

* * *

Petra woke to the smell of coffee. She tried to move to sit up, but noticed a rather large obstacle. A man was pressed against her back. She could feel him breathing into her hair. She panicked for a moment until she remembered the night before. She left out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding in.

Levi was flush against her. One hand was under her head and the other across her waist, holding her to him. His top leg was in-between hers. She blushed furiously. Petra shifted a bit, not knowing if Levi was awake. The smell of coffee was pulling her in, and she desperately wanted to get up. Well, not like she needed it. She really didn't feel that tired, but Petra enjoyed a good cup of coffee.

Her thoughts froze at that.

She wasn't tired.

She was comfortable. No nightmares had woken her in the middle of the night. For the first time in months, she had slept well.

Levi seemed to noticed she was awake. He lifted his head. "Is this okay?"

Petra thought a moment. "Yes." She decided.

* * *

Every night since that one, Levi slept in Petra's bed. It was a non-sexual practice, even if some of the others thought so. Hanji, especially, wouldn't let the two forget about it. For the first time since the expedition, Petra and Levi were both sleeping soundly. Petra's doctor noticed, too. When questioned about how she was getting better rest, Petra coolly avoided the inquisition and moved on with her checkup.

Petra enjoyed this time. Her days were spent around Levi, which made her happy (For obvious reasons). The two were close, though they still refused to give into the undeniable attraction between them. Every night spent together was heaven for Petra. She could only hope Levi thought the same. He seemed more relaxed now than she had ever seen him; that meant something, right?

Levi had left Petra in her (Their?) room to fetch some water. Hanji had started bringing breakfast for two, but he needed something besides coffee in the morning, or a nasty taste would settle on his tongue. It was early; few soldiers had risen and set about about their daily duties. Levi stepped through the large doorway into the kitchen. The floorboards creaked under his weight. He ran a hand through his short hair in a vain attempt to tame it. Looking up, he saw someone sitting in Levi's usual chair. Levi recognized him immediately.

"Erwin?" His voice rasped. Yeah, he needed some water.

Erwin sat down the mug he had been holding. The commander was already looking in uniform, fully awake and alert. Levi wished he had put on something else but his nightclothes and a robe. Erwin gestured for the smaller man to sit down, and Levi did as he was told.

"How is she?" Were the first words out of Erwin's mouth. Levi didn't answer at first. He already suspected what this was about.

"Better." Levi didn't want to divulge too much.

"I understand you've taken to sleeping with her. A consensual practice, I hope?" Erwin asked calmly. Levi huffed a bit. "Yes, it is. We're not involved sexually, if that's what you're implying." He retorted. Erwin nodded.

"Why, then?"

Levi wasn't sure if he wanted to answer. He trusted Erwin more than anybody, though. "She had visions." That was all it took. Erwin immediately understood.

"How bad?"

"Violent. Several times a night. Sometimes during the day."

Erwin thought about this new information. "Is she fit for combat?" Levi didn't have to consider it. "No." He told Erwin.

"Will she ever be?"

Silence.

"That has yet to be seen."

Erwin left.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew what Erwin was saying. If Petra was compromised, she may never be allowed to re-enter the military. Levi may had just lost the last member of his team, and Petra may had just lost her entire livelihood.

* * *

**Hooray! That's three! I realize that this is a bit shorter, but the story will be picking up soon. I have a decent idea, so let's just see where this goes.  
I have been reading your reviews, and all of your comments have been taken into my consideration. I realized I got Levi's title and surname mixed up, so that will be edited out at some point. I'm enjoying the positive feedback! You guys make me so happy. :)**

**PLEASE NOTE: I HAVE _NOT _READ THE MANGA. Everything from this point on will have nothing to do with the events of the manga. Sorry if my story screws with canon, but this is a freaking AU. Isn't the whole reason we're here is to escape that dreaded canon?**

**Next chapter will be up... I dunno. Whenever it's done?**

**Thank you for reading and don't forget to review! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to PM me.  
**

**~LMC**


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